|
 Winter
2001
Poetry
by
Mona Van Duyn
Ulcerated
tooth keeps me awake, there is
such
pain, would have to go to the hospital to have
it
pulled or would bleed to death from the blood thinners,
but
can’t leave Mother, she falls and forgets her salve
and
her tranquilizers, her ankles swell so and her bowels
are
so bad, she almost had a stoppage and sometimes
what
she passes is green as grass. There are big holes
in
my thigh where my leg brace buckles the size of dimes.
My
head pounds from the high pressure. It is awful
not
to be able to get out, and I fell in the bathroom
and
the girl could hardly get me up at all.
Sure
thought my back was broken, it will be next time.
Prostate
is bad and heart has given out,
feel
bloated after supper. Have made my peace
because
am just plain done for and have no doubt
that
the Lord will come any day with my release.
You
say you enjoy your feeder, I don’t see why
you
want to spend good money on grain for birds
and
you say you have a hundred sparrows, I’d buy
poison
and get rid of their diseases and turds.
II
We
enjoyed your visit, it was nice of you to bring
the
feeder but a terrible waste of your money
for
that big bag of feed since we won’t be living
more
than a few weeks long. We can see
them
good from where we sit, big ones and little ones
but
you know when I farmed I used to like to hunt
and
we had many a good meal from pigeons
and
quail and pheasant but these birds won’t
be
good for nothing and are dirty to have so near
the
house. Mother likes the redbirds though.
My
bad knee is so sore and I can’t hardly hear
and
Mother says she is hoarse form yelling but I know
it’s
too late for a hearing aid. I belch up all the time
and
have a sour mouth and of course with my heart
it’s
no use to go to a doctor. Mother is the same.
Has
a scab she thinks is going to turn to a wart.
III
The
birds are eating and fighting, Ha! Ha! All shapes
and
colors and sizes coming out of our woods
but
we don’t know what they are. Your Mother hopes
you
can send us a kind of book that tells about birds.
There
is one the folks called snowbirds, they eat on the ground,
we
had the girl sprinkle extra there, but say,
they
eat something awful. I sent the girl to town
to
buy some more feed, she had to go anyway.
IV
Almost
called you on the telephone
but
it costs so much to call thought better write.
Say,
the funniest thing is happening, one
day
we had so many birds and they fight
and
get excited at their feed you know
and
it’s really something to watch and two or three
flew
right at us and crashed into our window
and
bang, poor little things knocked themselves silly.
They
come to after while on the ground and flew away.
And
they been doing that. We felt awful
and
didn’t know what to do but the other day
a
lady from our Church drove out to call
and
a little bird knocked itself out while she sat
and
she brought it in her hands right into the house,
it
looked like dead. It had a kind of hat
of
feathers sticking up on its head, kind of rose
or
pinky color, don’t know what it was,
and
I petted it and it come to life right there
in
her hands and she took it out and it flew. She says
they
think the window is the sky on a fair
day,
she feeds birds too but hasn’t got
so
many. She says to hang strips of aluminum foil
in
the window so we’ll do that. She raved about
our
birds. P.S. The book just come in the mail.
V
Say,
that book is sure good, I study
in
it every day and enjoy our birds.
Some
of them I can’t identify
for
sure, I guess they’re females, the Latin words
I
just skip over. Bet you’d never guess
the
sparrow I’ve got here, House Sparrow you wrote,
but
I have Fox Sparrows, Song Sparrows, Vesper Sparrows,
Pine
Woods and Tree and Chipping and White Throat
and
White Crowned Sparrows. I have six Cardinals,
three
pairs, they come at early morning and night,
the
males at the feeder and on the ground the females.
Juncos,
maybe 25, they fight
for
the ground, that’s what they used to call snowbirds.
I miss
the
Bluebirds since the weather warmed. Their breast
is
the color of a good ripe muskmelon. Tufted Titmouse
is
sort of blue with a little tiny crest.
And
I have Flicker and Red-Bellied and Red-
Headed
Woodpeckers, you would die laughing
to
see Red-Bellied, he hangs on with his head
flat
on the board, his tail braced up under,
wing
out. And Dickcissel and Ruby Crowned Kinglet
and
Nuthatch stands on his head and Veery on top
the
color of a bird dog and Hermit Thrush with spot
on
breast, Blue Jay so funny, he will hop
right
on the backs of the other birds to get the grain.
We
bought some sunflower seeds just for him.
And
Purple Finch I bet you never seen,
color
of a watermelon, sits on the rim
of
the feeder with his streaky wife, and the squirrels,
you
know, they are cute too, they sit tall
and
eat with their little hands, they eat bucketfuls.
I
pulled my own tooth, it didn’t bleed at all.
VI
It’s
sure a surprise how well Mother is doing,
she
forgets her laxative but bowels move fine.
Now
that windows are open she says our birds sing
all
day. The girl took a Book of Knowledge on loan
from
the library and I am reading up
on
the habits of birds, did you know some males have three
wives,
some migrate some don’t. I am going to keep
feeding
all spring, maybe summer, you can see
they
expect it. Will need thistle seed for Goldfinch and Pine
Siskin
next winter. Some folks are going to come see us
from
Church, some bird watchers, pretty soon.
They
have birds in town but nothing to equal this.
So
the world woos its children back for an evening kiss.
From
If
It Be Not I by Mona Van Duyn Copyright © 1982
by Mona Van Duyn. Reprinted by permission of Alfred A. Knopf,
a Division of Random House Inc.
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